Breaking News! According to the Christians Against FSM coalition, FSM has been touching children with his noodly appendage. This outrage must be stopped, we must find and kill the FSM before he molests more children (if we let FSM molest all the children, there wont be any left for Catholic priests). If you or someone you know has been “Touched” by the FSM, or are willing to lie about it, please call 1-800-FSM-RAPE now and tell us your slanderous story so we can bring this monster to justice (as we see it).
On a lesser side note the Catholic Church has been spending millions of prayer money/charity donations on secret settlements with victims of priest-child rape cases and move the rapist-priests to other towns/states and told to ask for god’s forgiveness in order to makes sure those priests wont rape children again. God bless that pope, he knows how to make everything better.
Let’s all take a moment to stop and think of the victims and also think about the fact that the Catholic church is one of the worlds largest financial institutions that reports to no one since they have tax-exempt status and can spend the money aaaaany way they want, including covering up the rapes and molestations their heavenly priests are committing. After all, it’s no business of ours, it’s between the priest, god and the child who’s life they’ve ruined.
Ra-men.
I have been touched by the noodly appendage and it was al dente. Ra-men
Link | January 3rd, 2007 at 4:45am
What the fuck is an FSM?
Link | January 8th, 2007 at 2:19pm
this offends my religion.
Link | May 1st, 2007 at 10:15pm
John, your saying this offends your religion, offends my religion.
Link | August 9th, 2007 at 4:04am
Your religious offence of his religious offence offends my religion; I will now have to murder you and your family for generations to come.
Link | August 9th, 2007 at 7:05pm
Your killing of a man for offending your religion, which was caused by someone else being offended by an entirely different thing, offends me! And furthermore, I will now have to curse you with my evil powers. ‘Cause I dance with the devil, or so I’ve been told by the local pastor.
Link | August 11th, 2007 at 4:47pm
christianity kills bigtime
Link | November 21st, 2007 at 5:26pm
i thought my my joke didn’t have an offensive site please have last message deleted! plus “butts” was supposed to be the last name not a bad site cruddy joke.
Link | November 21st, 2007 at 5:28pm
Did someone call?
Link | March 5th, 2008 at 4:38pm
When it comes to touching, the FSM clearly has the upper… appendage… How many people have you seen walking around with an “I was touched by my priest” tee shirt?
Link | March 17th, 2008 at 3:06am
Now, if that is not the pot calling the kettle black, I don’t know what is!
Link | May 2nd, 2008 at 4:12am
Yall are gay….. touch this appendage
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This is a finger fucking you
Link | May 31st, 2008 at 11:57am
i dont see it.
Link | August 21st, 2008 at 8:14pm
Is it the pinky finger? I’m sorry for you Celeste if you have to resort to using a hand for gratification. The Flying Spaghetti Monster is surely sending you to hell. Have fun with the VD strippers.
Link | September 7th, 2008 at 9:01pm
Thats racist and mean… Your ‘God’ must truly be cruel
Link | October 29th, 2008 at 9:31am
PRAISE THE LORD! HIS SAUCE IT RAINS DOWN! I have been Touched by His Noodly Appendage..let us say his name!
Link | March 17th, 2009 at 10:17am
I love how the first place Christians go is that His Noodlyness is a rapist… hypocrites. Not all of our church leaders love the little peepee ;)
Link | March 20th, 2009 at 4:21pm
i was touched by his noodly appendage, and liked it. ENLIGHTEN YOURSELVES! [dons a pirate hat and walks out]
Link | April 2nd, 2009 at 9:07am
(to connor) ditto.
Link | April 2nd, 2009 at 12:20pm
If you want to see a reader’s feedback :) , I rate this post for 4/5. Detailed info, but I have to go to that damn google to find the missed bits. Thank you, anyway!
Link | April 15th, 2009 at 10:21am
This is what Christians against FSM are using their funding for? I would have bought a submarine or a diamond-encrusted Bible with holographic pages!
Link | May 16th, 2009 at 3:51pm