Christians Against FSM Launches New Campaign

Filed Under (Deep Thoughts, News) by Ian on 03-01-2007

Breaking News! According to the Christians Against FSM coalition, FSM has been touching children with his noodly appendage. This outrage must be stopped, we must find and kill the FSM before he molests more children (if we let FSM molest all the children, there wont be any left for Catholic priests). If you or someone you know has been “Touched” by the FSM, or are willing to lie about it, please call 1-800-FSM-RAPE now and tell us your slanderous story so we can bring this monster to justice (as we see it).

On a lesser side note the Catholic Church has been spending millions of prayer money/charity donations on secret settlements with victims of priest-child rape cases and move the rapist-priests to other towns/states and told to ask for god’s forgiveness in order to makes sure those priests wont rape children again. God bless that pope, he knows how to make everything better.

Let’s all take a moment to stop and think of the victims and also think about the fact that the Catholic church is one of the worlds largest financial institutions that reports to no one since they have tax-exempt status and can spend the money aaaaany way they want, including covering up the rapes and molestations their heavenly priests are committing. After all, it’s no business of ours, it’s between the priest, god and the child who’s life they’ve ruined.

Ra-men.

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Comments:

12 Responses to “Christians Against FSM Launches New Campaign”

1. waesome.com editor on 3 Jan 2007 at 4:45am #
   
   

   I have been touched by the noodly appendage and it was al dente. Ra-men

2. Curlylass on 8 Jan 2007 at 2:19pm #
   
   

   What the fuck is an FSM?

3. john on 1 May 2007 at 10:15pm #
   
   

   this offends my religion.

4. Andrew Keir on 9 Aug 2007 at 4:04am #
   
   

   John, your saying this offends your religion, offends my religion.

5. ian on 9 Aug 2007 at 7:05pm #
   
   

   Your religious offence of his religious offence offends my religion; I will now have to murder you and your family for generations to come.

6. The Shane on 11 Aug 2007 at 4:47pm #
   
   

   Your killing of a man for offending your religion, which was caused by someone else being offended by an entirely different thing, offends me! And furthermore, I will now have to curse you with my evil powers. ‘Cause I dance with the devil, or so I’ve been told by the local pastor.

7. seymore butts on 21 Nov 2007 at 5:26pm #
   
   

   christianity kills bigtime

8. seymore butts on 21 Nov 2007 at 5:28pm #
   
   

   i thought my my joke didn’t have an offensive site please have last message deleted! plus “butts” was supposed to be the last name not a bad site cruddy joke.

9. Offensive Man on 5 Mar 2008 at 4:38pm #
   
   

   Did someone call?

10. Connor on 17 Mar 2008 at 3:06am #
    
    

    When it comes to touching, the FSM clearly has the upper… appendage… How many people have you seen walking around with an “I was touched by my priest” tee shirt?

11. DB on 2 May 2008 at 4:12am #
    
    

    Now, if that is not the pot calling the kettle black, I don’t know what is!

12. Celeste on 31 May 2008 at 11:57am #
    
    

    Yall are gay….. touch this appendage

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    This is a finger fucking you