Evolutionists Flock To Darwin-Shaped Wall Stain
Sep 5, 2008 Amazing, Funny Stuff
Evolutionists Flock To Darwin-Shaped Wall Stain
DAYTON, TN—A steady stream of devoted evolutionists continued to gather in this small Tennessee town today to witness what many believe is an image of Charles Darwin—author of The Origin Of Species and founder of the modern evolutionary movement—made manifest on a concrete wall in downtown Dayton.“I brought my baby to touch the wall, so that the power of Darwin can purify her genetic makeup of undesirable inherited traits,” said Darlene Freiberg, one among a growing crowd assembled here to see the mysterious stain, which appeared last Monday on one side of the Rhea County Courthouse. The building was also the location of the famed “Scopes Monkey Trial” and is widely considered one of Darwinism’s holiest sites. “Forgive me, O Charles, for ever doubting your Divine Evolution. After seeing this miracle of limestone pigmentation with my own eyes, my faith in empirical reasoning will never again be tested.”
Added Freiberg, “Behold the power and glory of the scientific method!”
Since witnesses first reported the unexplained marking—which appears to resemble a 19th-century male figure with a high forehead and large beard—this normally quiet town has become a hotbed of biological zealotry. Thousands of pilgrims from as far away as Berkeley’s paleoanthropology department have flocked to the site to lay wreaths of flowers, light devotional candles, read aloud from Darwin’s works, and otherwise pay homage to the mysterious blue-green stain.
Tags: comedy, darwin, evolutionist, flock, Funny Stuff, image, stain, wall
September 5th, 2008 at 5:21pm
HAHAH! This line:
“After seeing this miracle of limestone pigmentation with my own eyes, my faith in empirical reasoning will never again be tested.”
wins in SO MANY ways. I love The Onion.
September 6th, 2008 at 7:18pm
you sterotype all christians….many bible believing christians do not look to such sign’s and wonders..they simply look to
God word….
September 6th, 2008 at 7:33pm
It’s the onion dude, it’s a joke.. :P
You should read more of their stories, it has nothing to do with religion. It’s the Mad Magazine of the news world.
September 6th, 2008 at 8:06pm
Ian, i’ve been looking for you,,,lol’s.. And I know it’s a joke… But now I see you Atheists have a sense of humour that’s good,,a common ground…And maybe, just maybe, you don’t label all us God fearing humans in one lump,,,
I also see we have other similarities…your scientists say one thing that your group seems to focus on…While our christian scientists say something else we tend to focus on…In that sense, science seems to get’s us no where…..just a thought!
September 6th, 2008 at 10:33pm
Hey! I have a pile of dog shit that looks just like Jesus Christ. Anyone want to buy it?
September 6th, 2008 at 10:58pm
How do you know what my Jesus looks like…I can tell you have never experience the grace of my Lord….But that can change, because He created you, and Loves despite your comments….believe on Jesus, before the day of the Lord…or Face His Wrath…i would imagine an extra portion for you…but only a guess…..
Don’t worry I won’t hang around this website long,,,unless you want me to stay..mix up the converstion alittle….don’t you get bored,, all being on the same team and all?
A God fearing christian hear to defend the gospel….
I have no anger, can you say the same?
September 7th, 2008 at 12:59am
God fearing? It’s that sort of language that turned me off to religion in the first place.
Isn’t christian scientist an oxymoron?
September 7th, 2008 at 1:23am
Generally speaking, most scientists are not very religious, and those that are, don’t tend to be leaders in their field.. unless they’re leaders in being “Christian Scientists”, which doesn’t really mean much.
Feel free to stick around and discuss religion or the lack thereof, I’m always open for debate, and the possibility of being converted.. but you’d have to give me a pretty compelling argument to do that. I’ve seen what religion(s) have to offer and it doesn’t interest me much.
I’ve been to church many times, I’ve read the bible, I’ve heard the “word of god” and none of it made my life better, if anything, it made it worse.
September 7th, 2008 at 2:45am
That’s a fabulous attitude Ian. I’ve grown up in a Christian society and not a single Christian I’ve ever met has been open to debate. It’s always “Well, the Bible says” or “Jesus died for your sins, you should be grateful” or “I’ll be praying for you …” or “God loves you despite your comments” or “Believe in Jesus before the day of the Lord” You know, crap like that.
Also, seeing as you’re open to being converted, might I interest you in my own church, the Jesus Is The Son of The Invisible Pink Unicorn And The Flying Spaghetti Monster Even Though She Was Married To The Prophet Mohammed At The Time church? Don’t listen to Bruce, he’s a heathen.
September 7th, 2008 at 3:05am
believe on Jesus, before the day of the Lord…or Face His Wrath…i would imagine an extra portion for you…but only a guess…..Bruce
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Why do Christians like you always portray Christ as wrathful and vindictive?
September 7th, 2008 at 5:48am
The Bible does portray God as wrathful and vindictive. I don’t think it does the same of Christ, but if the two are one … maybe it’s like two sides of a coin? Maybe he suffers from multiple personalities? Well, we’d need a Word of God for this (I mean in a tvtropes.org way), but since the authors are all dead, there’s not much we can do except make our own interpretations.
Or we could just read Harry Potter instead.
September 7th, 2008 at 12:44pm
hey love the debate….were to start….First with Jesus wrath….God is perfect in His Love…and also perfect in His wrath….
Why I talked about His wrath, is Christian 101… you’re suppose to tell people about God’s wrath, in order for them to realize they need a saviour….so they understand what they need saving from…
When I say I am God fearing, simply means that I understand God hates sin….and I fear His punishment of sin….or it is a way of reminding me of God’s standard, not mine.
As for christians scientists being few…and not leading the field…that does make sense…but the arguments christian scientist focus on are compelling,,,but I guess if I go into their argument bias,,as I am..I hear what I want to hear….
I would say this again,,,I wonder how many so called christians truly are christians..it is my fear that probably a great number of us will face the wrath of God…because alot of us only think they belong to the Family of God…but it should be noted, I can be extreme in my thinking, and I actually hope I am wrong…
I am very interested in debating here…not to fully adopt your thinking, but for growth…
September 7th, 2008 at 2:33pm
As for “I’ve read the bible,and none of it made my life better” or/and “that turned me off to religion in the first place.”
Well first I would say it’s not about religion, it’s about relationship….you see religion is an institution run by men, who are most foulable, full of mistakes…and quite often let their own pride, and unrighteousness stand in the way of a relationship with God…
Religion is something you practice, sometimes full of ritual…Men think they are earning their way to heaven via good works….Often when a man is religious, he may have little in the way of relationship….
Where relationship starts with respect and boundaries…and time spend in that relationship…In the case of my Lord..How aften am I praying….trying to stay within the boundaries that He has set out for man….how often do I put His rules before my wants or desires….
So when one says reading the Bible or religion made their life no better, or even worse..this does not surprise me…but if you said you tried to apply the principals in the new testament in your life,,,(truly an honest effort)…and God did not answer you,,I would be very surprised..
I can hear it now,,God talking to,,here we go,,,,well God doesn’t have to talk to me to be active in my life,,,God the Father, Jesus Christ and The Holy Spirit, have no limitations, none that man can imagine anyway….
September 8th, 2008 at 12:24am
I think Bruce is drunk.
September 8th, 2008 at 12:52am
Bruce:
You seem to be the honest type.
I have to warn you that we make a lot of fun about religion/gods/cults/rituals/ and general nonsense, please don’t be offended, and don’t think that we are “angry”…..
And about one of your comments, you are right, most religious people are just by name, its because of traditions, I use to be a catholic for a long time without really thinking why I was one (obviously my parents had to do with it, ironically I graduated from a jesuit HS and college… ) Until I started questioning myself all the “details” it became obvious I became a non believer (atheist) …. an “eternal” god, that can not die comes to earth to “die for my sins” and resuscitates after the 3rd day? is he trying to show off by “dying” when he knows he can not get killed? too much imagination !!!
Llogari Pujol (a former priest) just wrote a book about the bible and where did all the stories in it came from. His research shows that everything in the bible was taken from the Egyptians, lots of people knew that………..but he cross references all the miracles, virgin birth, etc from texts, drawings in pyramids etc.. don’t know if its available in English yet.
September 8th, 2008 at 8:31am
Hey
well first, I expected to get beat up around here,,,but frankly I am quite surprised how gentle it has been…and I am plesantly surprised….
I will be the first to admitt, that I do not have all the answers…but I like to try…and if you stump me, that is often where the growth is…
I have answers to your questions, and they sastify me….But I must admitt, I never remember a time not believing in Jesus…
first to “an “eternal God, that cannot die comes to earth to die for my sins”….
God is perfect in His Love, and also perfect in His Judgement….If He let man off with out punishing sin, He would not be true to Himself…The Perfect Judge…
But God Loves us, and Has made away for us…In the old testament God shows us the Law…This was given to show us why we do not have fellowship with Him….and no man has ever fulfilled the Law, or stayed within the boundaries of God’s will for our lives….
Hence why we can’t have a relationship with Him.
So God Himself ( the Son ) became part of His creation….accomplished the law…Truly sufferred..Living as a man…The world hated Him…Jesus was Punished, and Punished Hard….
Hence come the sacrifice, The Just
( Jesus didn’t deserve to be punishment because he was perfect as a man)for the unjust (me, who deserve’s to be punished, because I do not live within my Creators standard)
For as one man adam, lead us into independence from God, and our fall from grace.. One restores us back into the Family of God….Jesus
This way, the Judge can restore man, and be true to Himself as the Holy Judge of sin…..
As for “His research shows that everything in the bible was taken from the Egyptians”…
I would say this…I don’t like defending things that I wasn’t around for…and I didn’t read the book…But…It is taught amoung christians that the devil knew all that was going to happen…Because God told him in the garden, how he was going to be defeated by Jesus(losing his power over death)
It is quite common knowledge that the devil is a counterfiet…He wants to be God, and is ruler of the earth right now….but the devil copies all of God’s plans..the best way to tell a lie is to keep it as close to the truth as possible…and the devil is the father of lies….
For example…the devil had ancient people worshipping a mother and child….thousands of years before Jesus birth….
I would end today like this, it is not all about us humans, some may say we are in the middle of a battle between God and His fallen angels ( know named demons)…But we disobeyed God as well, but we were lead by the devil through temptation, and in my mind that is why we are given a second chance so to speak…..
September 11th, 2008 at 6:53am
That’s kind of you to try and post explanations for certain things that people don’t understand in the Bible or in Christian tradition. However, you’re missing the point that some people just don’t accept the Bible or religious tradition as true, period. Just because you can prove that nothing in Of Mice and Men is contradictory or nonsensical doesn’t mean that it’s true, does it?
November 28th, 2008 at 12:57pm
Natural Selection as coined by the evolutionist is the process that removes qualities that are less favorable for the conditions and as a result new spieces are formed.
Natural selection is the process by which favorable heritable traits become more common in successive generations of a population of reproducing organisms, and unfavorable heritable traits become less common, due to differential reproduction of genotypes. Over time, this process may result in adaptations that specialize organisms for particular ecological niches and may eventually result in the emergence of new species. In other words, natural selection is the mechanism by which evolution may take place within a given population of organisms.
Never have we seen in the fossil record or from the naked eye emergence of new species. http://www.icr.org/natural-selection/ The battle for truth is still being waged