Atheism: The Non-Prophet Way Of Life

Here we expose the religions of the world for the frauds they really are. Preying on the gullible and lost, giving them all the answers they want to hear, and in turn leading them into a world of ignorance and disinformation; religion has got to go.

Woman dead in Wisconsin house; residents lived with corpse for 2 months

Filed Under (Funny Stuff, News, Stupidity) by Ian on 10-05-2008

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At least they weren’t doing anything insane..

Woman dead in Wisconsin house; residents lived with corpse for 2 months

 A man, woman and two teenage children apparently shared a house in Necedah Township, Wisconsin with a corpse for two months before authorities found the body.

At least one of the adults in the house insisted the dead woman inside wasn’t “fully dead,” and that they could pray her back to life.

Earlier this week, sheriff’s deputies in Juneau County, just east of Tomah, went to a home in Necedah Township to check on the welfare of 90-year-old Magdeline Alvina Middlesworth, after the woman’s sister reported she had not heard from her in some time.

When deputies arrived, the woman who answered the door at first refused to let deputies check on Middlesworth.

The woman, Tammy Lewis, finally relented, and allowed the deputy to search the house. He found Middlesworth’s remains in a heap on what appeared to be a toilet. Police reports indicate the smell of decay was “overpowering.”

The deputy ordered Lewis to take both of her children, ages 12 and 15, out of the house, due to the smell.

Police say Lewis then refused to talk to them without her “superior.” That turned up out to be Alan Bushey, who police say also goes by “Bishop John Peter Bushey.”

After Bushey arrived, Lewis told deputies that Middlesworth passed out a couple of months prior, and that Lewis had propped her up on the toilet.

She then claimed “Bishop Bushey” told her that God would raise Middlesworth from the dead, and that Lewis and her children prayed for days in hopes of that happening.

Police also interviewed the teenagers, who told them Bushey convinced them to be quiet about the body. They say Bushey told them demons were making it appear that Middlesworth was dead, and that if her death was discovered, the children would be sent to public school and be forced to get jobs.

It’s unclear what the relationship is between Bushey and Lewis, or their relationship to Middlesworth. The children called her “grandmother.”

Police say Lewis and the children shared the home with Middlesworth. The children have been placed in protective custody.

The home is reportedly in decent condition, although Lewis and the children apparently used a pail for a bathroom because Middleworth’s body was draped over the only toilet in the house.

Both Bushey and Lewis are facing charges of causing mental harm to a child, and obstructing justice.

Forget Intelligent Design

Filed Under (Funny Stuff, Interesting, Stupidity) by Ian on 21-04-2008

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This is outrageous!

How can alternative theories to evolution be taught in schools such as Intelligent Design(tm) but not the others?

i.e. Were you aware that Pi is not 3.14159265 but in fact, Pi is exactly 3? How can we be sure? Because the inerrant book we currently refer to as the Bible, says so.

1 Kings 7:23 (New American Standard Bible)

Now he made the sea of cast metal ten cubits from brim to brim, circular in form, and its height was five cubits, and thirty cubits in circumference.

Now, if we do our biblical calculations using, C = r * 2 * Pi, in this case, C = 30, r * 2 = 10, which leaves only pi in question, which in this case, is clearly 30 / 10, better known as 3.

Yes, that’s right, the Bible says Pi = 3. Without a doubt, we should scrap any theory that says Pi is anything more or less than exactly 3. For heaven’s sake, the “scientists” defintion of Pi isn’t even rational! They can’t even properly define the number! I like absolute answers, as the one’s provided in the bible, that way I know the answer and don’t have to keep memorizing new numbers, it’s simply easier this way!

Happiness is..

Filed Under (Funny Stuff, Stupidity) by Ian on 16-04-2008

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Happiness is..

Flying Spaghetti Monster Lands Outside Tennessee Courthouse

Filed Under (Funny Stuff, News) by Ian on 02-04-2008

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Flying Spaghetti Monster Lands Outside Tennessee Courthouse

A sculpture of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, the goofball deity cooked up to protest a Kansas legal battle over evolution, went on display outside a courthouse in Cumberland County, Tennessee, late last month.

Ariel and David Safdie created the sculpture, which depicts the taste-tempting god worshiped by adherents of the “Pastafarian” parody religion practiced by the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster.

A statement from the installment ceremony helps explain the Flying Spaghetti Monster’s place in the grand debate about religion, evolution, free speech and noodle dishes:

“We are lucky enough to live in a country that allows us, its citizens, the freedom of speech. I have chosen to put up a statue of the Flying Spaghetti Monster to represent the discourse between people of all different beliefs. The many faiths, ethnicities and backgrounds of Cumberland County’s residents make our community a stronger richer place…. The Flying Spaghetti Monster is a pile of noodles and meatballs, but it is meant to open up discussion and provoke thought. Being able to put up a statue is a celebration of our freedom as Americans; a freedom to be different, to express those differences, and to do it amongst neighbors — even if it is in a noodley way.”

The artists’ interpretation of the Flying Spaghetti Monster sits alongside an Iraq war memorial, chainsaw-carved monkeys and a sculpture of Jesus carrying a cross, according to the Crossville Chronicle.

FSM Statue

The cowardice and intolerance of slapping a Darwin fish on your car bumper

Filed Under (Deep Thoughts, Funny Stuff, Stupidity) by Ian on 01-04-2008

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I find Darwin fish offensive. First, there’s the smugness. The undeniable message: Those Jesus fish people are less evolved, less sophisticated than we Darwin fishers.

Evolution of religious bigotry

I just watched “Fitna,” a 17-minute film by Geert Wilders, head of the Dutch Freedom Party, which takes a hard-line stance against Muslim immigration.

Released on the Internet on Thursday, “Fitna” juxtaposes verses from the Koran with images and speeches from the world of jihad. Heads cut off, bodies blown apart, gays executed, toddlers taught to denounce Jews as “apes and pigs,” imams calling for global domination, protesters holding up signs reading “God Bless Hitler” and “Freedom go to Hell” — these are just some of the powerful images from “Fitna,” an Arabic word that means “ordeal.”

Predictably, various Muslim governments have condemned the film. Half the Jordanian parliament voted to sever ties with the Netherlands. Egypt’s grand imam threatened “severe” consequences if the Dutch government didn’t ban the film.

Meanwhile, European and U.N. leaders are going through the usual motions of theatrical hand-wringing, heaping all of their anger on Wilders for sowing “hatred.”

Me? I keep thinking about Jesus fish.

During a 1991 visit to Istanbul, a buddy and I found ourselves in a small restaurant drinking, dancing and singing with a bunch of middle-class Turkish businessmen, mostly shop owners. It was a hilariously joyful evening, even though they spoke nearly no English and we spoke considerably less Turkish.

At the end of the night, after imbibing unquantifiable quantities of raki, an ouzo-like Turkish liquor, one of the men came up to me and gave me a worn-out business card. On the back, he’d scribbled an image. It was little more than a curlicue, but he seemed intent on showing it to me (and nobody else). It was, I realized, a Jesus fish.

It was an eye-opening moment for me, though obviously trivial compared with the experiences of others. Here in this cosmopolitan and self-styled European city, this fellow felt the need to surreptitiously clue me in that he was a Christian just like me (or so he thought).

Traditionally, the fish pictogram conjures the miracle of the loaves and fishes as well as the Greek word IXOYE, which not only means fish but serves as an acronym, in Greek, for “Jesus Christ the Son of God [Is] Savior.” Christians persecuted by the Romans used to draw the Jesus fish in the dirt with a stick or a finger as a way to tip off fellow Christians that they weren’t alone.

In America, the easiest place to find this ancient symbol is on the back of cars. Recently, however, it seems as if Jesus fish have become outnumbered by Darwin fish. No doubt you’ve seen these too. The fish symbol is “updated” with little feet coming off the bottom, and “IXOYE” or “Jesus” is replaced with either “Darwin” or “Evolve.”

I find Darwin fish offensive. First, there’s the smugness. The undeniable message: Those Jesus fish people are less evolved, less sophisticated than we Darwin fishers.

The hypocrisy is even more glaring. Darwin fish are often stuck next to bumper stickers promoting tolerance or admonishing random motorists that “hate is not a family value.” But the whole point of the Darwin fish is intolerance; similar mockery of a cherished symbol would rightly be condemned as bigoted if aimed at blacks or women or, yes, Muslims.

As Christopher Caldwell once observed in the Weekly Standard, Darwin fish flout the agreed-on etiquette of identity politics. “Namely: It’s acceptable to assert identity and abhorrent to attack it. A plaque with ‘Shalom’ written inside a Star of David would hardly attract notice; a plaque with ‘Usury’ written inside the same symbol would be an outrage.”

But the most annoying aspect of the Darwin fish is the false bravado it represents. It’s a courageous pose without consequence. Like so much other Christian-baiting in American popular culture, sporting your Darwin fish is a way to speak truth to power on the cheap.

Whatever the faults of “Fitna,” it ain’t no Darwin fish.

Geert Wilders’ film could very, very easily get him killed. (He’s already guarded around the clock.) It essentially picks up the work of Dutch filmmaker Theo van Gogh, who was murdered in 2004 by a jihadi for criticizing Islam.

“Fitna” is certainly provocative, yet it has good reason to provoke. A cancer of violence, bigotry and cruelty is metastasizing within the Islamic world.

It’s fine for Muslim moderates to say they aren’t part of the cancer; and that some have, in response to the film, is a positive sign. But more often, diagnosing or even observing this cancer — in film, book or cartoon — is dubbed “intolerant” while calls for violence, censorship and even murder are treated as understandable, if regrettable, expressions of well-deserved anger.

It’s not that secular progressives support Muslim religious fanatics, but they reserve their passion and scorn for religious Christians who are neither fanatical nor inclined to use violence.

The Darwin fish ostensibly symbolizes the superiority of progressive-minded science over backward-looking faith. I think this is a false juxtaposition, but I would have a lot more respect for the folks who believe it if they aimed their brave contempt for religion at those who might behead them for it.

Business Owners, Customers Upset Over Controversial Billboard

Filed Under (Amazing, Funny Stuff, News) by Ian on 29-03-2008

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Business Owners, Customers Upset Over Controversial Billboard

It looked harmless enough, but the words on a billboard un-nerved so many people that a popular restaurant nearby actually lost business.

The billboard was on Colonial Drive near the Old Cheney Highway. Although the popular Straub’s Seafood restaurant often advertises on it, this wasn’t their billboard.

The sign was taken down after Channel 9 started asking questions.

The billboard came down around 4:00 Friday afternoon and nearby business owners are relieved. Straub’s restaurant can replace the sign with the night’s specials.

At first glance the sign looked like a children’s cartoon, but the message next to the fairy princess stirred emotions.

“When you condemn all religions and say they are a fairytale that is wrong,” said Rich Stormes, a nearby business owner.

The billboard went up a week before Easter and business at the restaurant went down.”Easter Sunday is usually a busy good day,” said John Russel, an employee at Straub’s. “Easter Sunday business was down by two thirds.

“Since it’s so close, John Russel’s customers thought the restaurant paid for the billboard. To clear any confusion up, Russel put up a sign of his own and called MediaNet, the company who owns the billboard.

“It’s been causing us some problem. I think it’s causing a bit of controversy city wide. People have been contacting the media,” Russel added.

MediaNet said it had no idea the sign was there and someone put it up illegally in the middle of the night.

Nearby business owners said they weren’t buying it.

“They should have known what was going up on the billboard. He should proof it. He had to proof it,” Stormes stated.

The billboard rents for $1,400 a month. If an anti-religious group paid to rent it legitimately there is not telling how long it would have been up.

Orange County does not regulate messages on billboards. They are protected by free speech.

Fairy Tales

Masturbation is THE DEVIL!!!

Filed Under (Funny Stuff, Stupidity) by Ian on 02-03-2008

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 Are you a Mormon? Perhaps you’re just a Christian, or maybe just religious. Well, there’s something you should know..  masturbation is pure evil, don’t do it and don’t associate with people who do.

Overcoming Masturbation

Masturbation is a quickly-forming habit that can adversely affect both men and women of all ages. Despite what some might tell you, masturbation is not harmless. If you are trying to overcome masturbation, be assured that it is possible (even though, like any habit, it may take some work). If you are determined to do it, you will be able to. This page will give you some tips that can help you along the way.

Determination is the first step. That is where we begin. You must decide that you will end this practice, and when you make that decision, the problem will be greatly reduced at once.

But it must be more than a hope or a wish, more than knowing that it is good for you. It must be actually a DECISION. If you truly make up your mind you will have the strength to resist temptations which will come to you.

After you have made this decision, then observe the following specific guidelines:

1. Never touch the intimate parts of your body except during normal washing and using the bathroom.

2. Avoid being alone as much as possible. Find good company and stay in this good company, especially when you are feeling particularly weak.

3. If you are associated with other persons having this same problem, YOU MUST BREAK OFF THEIR FRIENDSHIP. Never associate with other people having the same weakness. Don’t suppose that two of you will quit together, you never will. You must get away from people of that kind. Just to be in their presence will keep your problem foremost in your mind. The problem must be taken OUT OF YOUR MIND for that is where it really exists. Your mind must be on other and more wholesome things.

4. After you bathe, don’t admire yourself in the mirror. Stay in the shower just long enough to clean yourself. Then dry off and GET OUT OF THE BATHROOM into a room where you will have some member of your family present.

5. When in bed (especially if that is where you masturbate), wear pajamas or other clothes so that you cannot easily touch yourself (and so that it would be difficult to remove those clothes. The time it takes to remove your clothing gives additional time to controll your thinking and overcome the temptation).

6. If the temptation seems overpowering while you are in bed, GET OUT OF BED! Go into the kitchen and make a snack, even if it is in the middle of the night, and even if you are not hungry. The purpose behind this suggestion is that you GET YOUR MIND ON SOMETHING ELSE. You are the subject of your thoughts, so to speak.

7. Never look at pornography on the internet or elsewhere. Never read about your problem (even on sites claiming to be “educational”). Keep it out of mind. Remember — “First a thought, then an act.” The thought pattern must be changed. You must not allow this problem to remain in your mind. When you accomplish that, you soon will be free of the act.

8. Put wholesome thoughts into your mind at all times. Read good books, scriptures, talks of church leaders. Make a daily habit of reading at least one chapter of Scripture, preferably from one of the four Gospels in the New Testament, or the Book of Mormon. The four Gospels — Matthew, Mark, Luke and John — above anything else in the Bible can be helpful because of their uplifting qualities.

9. Pray. But when you pray, don’t pray about this problem, for that will tend to keep it in your mind more than ever. Pray for faith, pray for understanding of the Scriptures, pray for members of your family who need help. Pray for your friends, BUT KEEP THE PROBLEM OUT OF YOUR MIND BY NOT MENTIONING IT EVEN IN YOUR PRAYERS. KEEP IT OUT of your mind! The attitude of a person toward his problem has an affect on how easy it is to overcome. It is essential that a firm commitment be made to control the habit. As a person understands his reasons for the behavior, and is sensitive to the conditions or situations that may trigger a desire for the act, he develops the power to control it.

Let us bow our heads in thanks for atheists

Filed Under (Deep Thoughts, Funny Stuff) by Ian on 24-02-2008

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Hahaha, this was pretty funny, even though it probably wasn’t intended to be.

Let us bow our heads in thanks for atheists

The re-awakening of atheism in America is going to make for some very interesting times. Leaders of the Christian Right have spent years trying to cast themselves as the voiceless victims in a secular society, but the scapegoating is over. (Want to talk marginalized? How many atheists have there ever been in Congress or the White House?)

Nonbelievers know a lot about Christianity and Judaism, most having been raised in religious families. Believers, however, are somewhat less clued-in about atheists. Here are a few simple truths about who they are, and aren’t.

Atheists are well-behaved. Atheists seem to play well with others overall. They’re not in the news for getting caught doing things they tell others not to do. Most co-exist peacefully with believing family and friends. They pay taxes.

Atheists don’t start wars on behalf of atheism. They do join the military, however, and contrary to the cliché, they are found in foxholes. In fact, there is a lawsuit now against Defense Secretary Robert Gates and a major who harassed a group of “foxhole atheists” who simply wished to exercise their freedom of/from religion while serving their country in the Middle East.

Atheists have a thing for the American Constitution, particularly the First Amendment that separates church and state. They are secularists who support a government free from influence by any religion. They’re not anti-religious but nonreligious.

So when people like Mike Huckabee announce they want to “take this nation back for Christ” and make the Constitution fit the word of God, atheists worry, and feel that everyone else would be wise to worry along with them.

Atheists don’t take up much space. In fact, they only comprise 0.4 percent of the U.S. population, according to the 2001 American Religious Identification Survey, conducted through the Graduate Center at CUNY. (Agnostics would add 0.5 percent, the nonreligious 14.1 percent more.)

A total of 900,000 people isn’t even enough to fill 10 football stadiums, but evangelical leaders insist the godless are behind the decline of a whole nation. Uh, okay.

Atheists make good neighbors. Chances are, if you lived next door to an atheist, you might never know it. Atheists aren’t known for going door-to-door or shore-to-shore to un-convert people. They will help you even though there’s no heavenly reward in it for them.

Furious Muslims Declare Jihad On Doritos

Filed Under (Funny Stuff, News) by Ian on 23-02-2008

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Muslims criticise Walkers after it is revealed that some crisp varieties contain alcohol

Furious Muslims have heavily criticised Walkers crisps after it emerged that certain varieties of the manufacturer’s products contain trace elements of alcohol.

Some crisp types use minute amounts of alcohol as a chemical agent to extract certain flavours.

The report in Asian newspaper Eastern Eye, highlights concerns raised by shopkeeper Besharat Rehman, who owns a halal supermarket in Bradford, West Yorkshire.

Mr Rehman told the paper: “A customer informed us that Sensations Thai Sweet Chilli and Doritos Chilli Heat Wave are not on Walkers’ alcohol-free list. Our suppliers were unaware of this.

“Even if it is a trace amount of alcohol, Walkers should make it clear on the packaging so that the customer can make an informed choice.

“I feel frustrated and angry. I have let my customers down simply because such a big company like Walkers is not sensitive to Muslim needs.

“Many of them were my daughter’s favourite crisps. As soon as I found out about the alcohol in them, I called home to ask my wife to throw out all the packets.”

The Earth is Flat and The Sun Is Smaller Than The Earth

Filed Under (Funny Stuff, Stupidity) by Ian on 22-02-2008

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The earth is not only flat, but the sun is smaller than the earth - because the Koran doesn’t say the earth is round.