Hail Be To Xenu

What’s not to like about Scientology? What a fun question, simply because it’s one of the most amusing religions out there.

Let’s look at why:

In Scientology doctrine created by a science fiction writer Ron Hubbard. Xenu (also Xemu) is an alien ruler of the “Galactic Confederacy” who, 75 million years ago, brought billions of aliens to Earth in DC-8-like spacecraft, stacked them around volcanoes and blew them up with hydrogen bombs. Their souls then clustered together and stuck to the bodies of the living, and continue to wreak chaos and havoc today.

I’m honestly not even sure why I have to mock this pile of trash for being so clearly ficticious, but, you can never underestimate the power of stupidity. According to them, there’s 8,000,000 followers, of course, actual census shows their numbers are closer to….. 60,000.. doesn’t that suck eh? But anyway, since irReligion is all about debunking the ludicrous concepts presented by religions I feel compelled to point out the sheer stupidities that are Scientology.

Apparently it’s not clearly obvious to it’s followers that Captain Hubbard (he’s not really a pirate captain, he just pretends.. Yarr!) came up with this religion purely for profit

Zenu Loves You

And Now, For some amazing Quotes! (Who doesn’t love quotes? I sure do)

Ron Hubbard

We are slowly and carefully teaching the unholy a lesson. It is as follows: We are not a law enforcement agency. BUT we will become interested in the crimes of people who seek to stop us. If you oppose scientology we promptly look up – and find and expose – your crimes. If you leave us alone we will leave you alone.

Ron Hubbard

Make money. Make more money. Make other people make money.

It’s great to see the only response they can come up with when people criticize them is “WHAT IS YOUR CRIME?!“. Honestly, this religion is surreal in it’s complete stupidity. But let’s be fair, this religion was created by a crackhead/failed writer who just wanted to make a quick buck; when you compare it to other religions like Christianity or Islam who have had thousands of years to work out the kinks and refine their brainwashing techniques, it becomes obvious why Scientology seems so feeble.