Church child protection chief caught with 4,000 child porn pictures

This sort of thing is so commonplace it’s hardly considered news at this point…

Church child protection chief caught with 4,000 child porn pictures

A child protection official for the Catholic Church has been caught with 4,000 pictures of child porn.

Father-of-four Christopher Jarvis was arrested after uploading pictures of children being abused to a website.

Married Jarvis, 49, a former social worker, was employed by the church following sex scandals about pervert priests.

His job was to monitor church groups to ensure paedophiles did not gain access to children in the church’s congregations.

But he was caught by police in March with more than 4,000 child porn images on his home computer and his work laptop.

He admitted 12 counts of making, ­possessing and distributing indecent ­images when he appeared before ­magistrates in Plymouth and is likely to face jail when he returns to court for sentencing next month.

Jarvis, who has been sacked from his job as child safeguarding ­officer, worked the Diocese of ­Plymouth for nine years.

Church spokesman ­David Pond said: “Mr Jarvis was suspended from his position as soon as the diocese became aware in March of the police investigation.

“The Bishop took that action and since then the Church has worked closely with the police.”

So I decided to join The KKK…

So I decided to join The KKK…

Sure, I don’t agree with their notion of white pride. And I don’t believe in their desire to cut off all American foreign aid, nor their desire to outlaw homosexuality, nor their anti-abortion stance. I think their plans for creating a Christian nation are horrible and damaging. And I think their history of racism is a truly terrible thing.

But there is a lot of good that comes out of being in the klan! A sense of community. A sense of belonging to something bigger than yourself. And some of the things they believe in, I also agree with. They believe in supporting strict environmental laws. They believe in balancing the budget. They stand behind states rights, and they strongly support veterans.

Just because a few radical individuals did some terrible things in the past in the name of the Klan, that has nothing to do with how the Klan is today! Besides, those people weren’t true Klansmen. A real, modern Klansman would never act like that!

I can call myself a Klansman, even though I don’t agree with everything they believe in. And I still go to a few Klan meetings each year, even though I disagree with some of their core tenets. I like the ceremonies, and some of the songs. I’m just choosing the parts that I like, and I’m going to with that, while I ignore the parts of The Klan that I disagree with.

So really, there’s nothing wrong with The Klan, or being a member. It’s just a personal matter of how an individual chooses to live their life.

I really don’t understand why people have a problem with me being in the Klan!

Austrian driver’s religious headgear strains credulity

Austrian driver’s religious headgear strains credulity

An Austrian atheist has won the right to be shown on his driving-licence photo wearing a pasta strainer as “religious headgear”.

Niko Alm first applied for the licence three years ago after reading that headgear was allowed in official pictures only for confessional reasons.

Mr Alm said the sieve was a requirement of his religion, pastafarianism.

The Austrian authorities required him to obtain a doctor’s certificate that he was “psychologically fit” to drive.

The idea came into Mr Alm’s noodle three years ago as a way of making a serious, if ironic, point.

A self-confessed atheist, Mr Alm says he belongs to the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster, a light-hearted faith whose members call themselves pastafarians.

The group’s website states that “the only dogma allowed in the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster is the rejection of dogma”.

In response to pressure for American schools to teach the Christian theory known as intelligent design, as an alternative to natural selection, the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster wrote to the Kansas School Board asking for the pastafarian version of intelligent design to be taught to schoolchildren, as an alternative to the Christian theory.

Straining credulity

In the same spirit, Mr Alm’s pastafarian-style application for a driving licence was a response to the Austrian recognition of confessional headgear in official photographs.

The licence took three years to come through and, according to Mr Alm, he was asked to submit to a medical interview to check on his mental fitness to drive but – straining credulity – his efforts have finally paid off.

It is the police who issue driving licences in Austria, and they have duly issued a laminated card showing Mr Alm in his unorthodox item of religious headgear.

The next step, Mr Alm told the Austrian news agency APA, is to apply to the Austrian authorities for pastafarianism to become an officially recognised faith.

Irreligious Logic vs. Religious Logic

I’m so sick and tired of arguing with religious fanatics across the Internet. Why do they resort to such deluded thinking? Here is a pre-written example of how debates usually start and end whenever I start one with a believer:

Skeptic: Cancers and other diseases are terrible. Why do they even exist?

Believer: It’s because of The Devil.

Skeptic: And why doesn’t Yahweh know about this?

Believer: He does — it’s just that He gave us free will.

Skeptic: So… we can choose what kinds of diseases to acquire if we wanted to? Are you suggesting that people “choose” to acquire diseases? That doesn’t sound very logical…

Believer: NO!!! You don’t get it!!! God gave us free will and Man perverted His creations by eating from the Tree of Life!!!

Skeptic: OK, then how come Yahweh isn’t doing anything to prevent “The Devil” from causing diseases?

Believer: AGAIN — it’s because He gave US free will! We chose to sin and this is our penalty for breaking His rules. God can do anything He wants, you know.

Skeptic: Sorry, but I believe Yahweh was supposed to be “omniscient” and “omnipotent,” correct? An omniscient deity is a deity that is supposed to have infinite knowledge beyond time and space. An omnipotent deity is a deity that is supposed to have an unlimited amount of universal power and authority. That said, if Yahweh is argued to be both an “omniscient” and “omnipotent” deity, doesn’t it make you wonder why Yahweh isn’t really doing anything to prevent “The Devil” from causing all the negativity in this world? By the way, animals and plants also can have diseases of their own — does this mean that there are “devils” for animals and plants, as well as “gods” for animals and plants? I don’t seem to understand where you are going with this.

Believer: *Rolls eyes* Seriously, atheist! You just don’t understand God or His Word! He works in MYSTERIOUS WAYS! Animals don’t have souls because we humans are the chosen ones! Humans and animals have NOTHING in common!

Skeptic: First, nowhere did I ever mention that I am an atheist; what I may or may not believe is irrelevant to this debate. Merely, I am questioning your position and reasoning for it. Second, I don’t see why you’re pulling the “You just don’t understand!” card while at the same time claiming to have knowledge of the mind of your deity. Third, how do you know that we humans have nothing to do with other animals such as apes, for instance? Are we not mammals? Don’t both species share likeness in body structure, personality, reasoning skills, etc.? We, just like the apes, are warm-blooded and have genitals that we use for mating with the opposite sex so that the female may bear one or more offspring. Females feed their young just like other female mammals do. Isn’t that what other female mammals do? The fact that we humans are warm-blooded vertebrate animals that have genitals (which are used for reproducing new life) and that our females carry milk to feed our young is a no-brainer that we DO in fact belong under the classification of mammalians. What do you have to say to these points?

Believer: *Rolls eyes again* Well… YOU have NO BRAIN! Seriously, you’re just an evolutionist trying to lure me into the path of unrighteousness so that I too may burn in Hell for all eternity with you… you… you… HEATHENS! You hate God! The Devil is making you say all these things because he knows that you are allowing him to come in and ruin your life! You need Jesus! Jesus died for us!

Skeptic: Wow, you need to remain civil. You are getting nowhere in this debate if all you’re going to do is brand me as a “heretic.” Seriously, this is the 21st century — more and more people to this day are coming to a realization that Christianity and Islam are simply archaic, primitive belief systems and that there are better attempts to explain how the universe works and why we exist that don‘t necessarily rely on most religions. For example, the Bible makes claims of such ridiculous things such as humans being able to live for 500+ years, an old man single-handedly building a boat and packing hordes of animals (all of which he was said to have captured by himself) on it to survive a 40-day flood, a rib-woman conversing with a talking serpent (to add insult to the injury, absolutely NO mention of “The Devil” possessing the animal is to be found — not even in the highly-acclaimed King James Bible), sticks turning into snakes, a man whose physical strength was equivalent to the length of his hair, and so many others. It really is a surprise to me that there are people who still take these stories in a literal sense. Come now, none of these things have ever been supported by science. Oh wait, science is controlled by “The Devil.”

Believer: Ha, ha! You have no idea what you’re talking about, evolutionist atheist! All these stories are PROVEN and HISTORICAL accounts as recorded in the Bible! We still believe in God because we don’t want to go to Hell! You do! And yes, science IS now controlled by The Devil and he started a religion called Darwinism. Sound familiar?

Skeptic: Look. If I told you that a unicorn was hiding in my backyard, would you trust me? If not, then why? What if I also told you that you have to believe in the “Unicorn God” in order to be saved? Wouldn’t that sound ridiculous to you? Of course it would! There is no validity to such an absurd claim, neither yours of how this world was created from Christianity’s perspective.

Believer: That’s because you don’t know Jesus. Once you know Him, you never go back!

Skeptic: …Except I used to have a belief in Christianity but I no longer possess it.

Believer: YOU NEVER WERE A TRUE CHRISTIAN IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!

Skeptic: Who are you to judge? I thought only Yahweh (and ONLY Yahweh) could judge us (if this particular deity DOES exist)? Doesn’t your book say that only those who may cast the first stone are the ones who never “sinned”?

Believer: Again, this is The Devil reaching out to you and feeding you lies so you can go and mock God! And stop calling Him ‘Yahweh’! There is only one TRUE God!

Skeptic: OK, I have to admit: I worship “The Devil” every night and I eat shellfish twice a week. Yes, I am mocking Yahweh.

Believer: *Smile* That’s more like it. So you admit you are possessed by The Devil! However, you can change! Come to my church! It’s the one TRUE church!

Skeptic: That would be LaVeyan.

Believer: FFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-

I have come to a realization that arguing with religious people about religion is a total waste of time. However, it is fun to stir the pot with the faithful whenever irreligious people correct them on their misused logic! Still, I am of the position that there are better things to do than get involved with religious debates. I have a life, and I can’t be expected to debate blind sheep 24/7. The difference between me and them is that I make a living for myself by being fully focused on REALITY and they make a living wasting their lives with such outdated and unscientific philosophies. We only get one life — don’t waste it away on things that have already been proven false by science and most of all — logic.